The Way Things Are
by Bekki Sue
Summary: Locked away from public view, sorrow finally manages to break free in the loneliness of her room at night.


Author's Notes: Heh… Tensei no baka! XD Yep, did myself a good job of feeling sorry for myself, and decided to write. I chose Relena because… well, she seemed like a good character for this. ^^* Alright… KUDO TIME!!!  
  
Musha: * glomps * You're way too cool for me… I mean it. You're my bestest best friend, and I love you SO much! We've been through SO much together and I value your friendship more than most! I know that you want to be there for me on my birthday… it's my parents' fault. . I demand an extension!  
  
Heidi: * huggles * Oneesan!!! I wuvoo more!!! Thank you thank you THANK you for… well, for BEING! You have been such a great friend, and a great source of comfort, especially those nights when you'd give me a nice swift kick when I get myself too depressed. You help me remember that we have to focus not on the sorrows of our hearts, but the hope and peace that He offers.  
  
Sabbie-chan: Psst… * leans in * You cheered me up today, and you don't even know it! * giggle * I tawt I taw a gweat fwiend! * grins * I did! I DID taw a gweat fwiend! (look at me, future speech pathologist at work!) And… if it's any help… I think that lobsters are pretty. * grins hopefully *  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
Stand up straight, chest out, chin up, best face forward. Sure. No problem. A simple protocol to follow required of any dignitary when in the presence of others. A warm smile and eloquent speech are musts, and remain calm and regal. And above all, do not let them see your weakness. You are a leader, a flesh-and-blood representation of the strength that your country wields like a mighty sword, raised for battle.  
  
But leaders do not cower, and swords do not weep. So why was Relena Peacecraft huddled against the headboard of her pink and white canopy bed, knees curled up to her chest, with a damp tissue clutched in her fist? Why were her eyes, which were once bright blue and full of life now blood red, brimmed with forbidden tears? Why did she make pathetic little sniveling sounds come from her nose?  
  
Why? That seemed to be a prominent word in her vocabulary now. Why. Why was everything going so right in her government… so disgustingly right, while everything else in her life was so horribly wrong? But her life didn't matter. All that mattered was how well she could do her job, and keep the hearts of her people loyal to her and her ideals of pacifism.  
  
Pacifism. She lived her life for that very notion, but was one of the biggest hypocrites of all in doing so, for within her soul waged a terrible war, where demons fought with a dying spirit, killing it slowly and painfully, not swiftly or painlessly.  
  
So what, might you ask, is all the commotion? What dastardly fiend could possess such power to break down the very soul that the world looked to for strength? The monster of loneliness, whose sharp claws could rip through a strong spirit as a dagger can slice through tender flesh.  
  
Though the young world leader had access to any material possession her little heart could ever desire, she was still not happy. She had had enough of this petty indulgence. She didn't need more ways to pamper herself physically – these all poisoned her bleeding heart. What she needed was someone to care for her as a friend would. Not a hired servant or diplomatic visitor for a chess opponent, but a friend, who stops by to play just for the fun of it. She didn't need any more fine clothes or jewelry. She needed companionship.  
  
Unfortunately, her position in the world government intimidated potential companions. Those who didn't despise her out of wicked jealousy, or disagreement of her beliefs were either too conceited to put up with, or too nervous to get close to.  
  
Relena paused her soft sobs, taking a long, deep breath and holding it there for a moment, as if the precious oxygen would heal her broken heart. No such luck, but it was nicer than drowning in her own tears. She cast her gaze over to her nightstand where a single stargazer lily stood proud in its smooth, clear vase. She smiled bitterly at the sickeningly cheery- colored pink and white blossom. It almost seemed ridiculous – she loved lilies, so she bought this one for herself to celebrate her birthday.  
  
No one had ever sent her flowers before, well, not with any kind of real meaning behind them. Even the former Gundam pilot, Quatre Winner, now living on colony L4 remembered to send her a vase arrangement, but she hadn't even seen the man in years. She knew that he meant well, but the gesture still didn't have meaning behind it. But this flower… this flower was special. A lily could usually be found mixed with other flowers, for its beauty was best seen when amplified by the surrounding colors of its companions. So this flower, being alone by itself represented Relena – the large, fragrant lily, but all alone.  
  
With a soft sigh, the girl glanced at her clock - seven-thirty in the morning. Almost time to get up and start a new day. Her eyes skipped over to the window and another frown took its rightful place back on her lips. It was snowing… in April. She hated snow, but she couldn't help the half- smile that spread across her lips. Even the weather was against her. No matter, though.  
  
It was a new day. There was business to attend to. Afterall, she did have a planet to run. She stood from her bed, actually enjoying how nice the soft, plush carpet felt against her bare feet. She walked up to mirror and took a good, long look. Messy, blonde hair would soon be neatly combed back. The bags under her eyes and red streaks that ran down her cheeks would be concealed with makeup, and her disheveled pajamas would be replaced with a business suit. That was who she was afterall. She had to be strong for the good of those who so faithfully followed her lead. The broken child that so desperately cried out for friendship would be locked away within the confines of her outer shell, not to be released until the next night. And that was how things were. 


End file.
